the day my heart broke

Today, my heart broke. It was painful, frustrating, and flabbergasting. I was helpless. The pain was intense. There i was, a lump beginning to swell within my throat, and my eyes stinging from holding up the dam that held back the reservoir of my tears. The pain was real, not the imaginary variety that you feel when your girlfriend doesn't text back or when your mom forgets about your birthday. No, this was so much more. Now, I've always said that sticks and stones would break my bones but words could never hurt me. Nevertheless, there i sat alone (physically and emotionally) as my own situation foreshadowed the loneliness that awaited to ambush me just seconds in the future.I was in the basement of the JFSB in disbelief at the words- not even spoken to me- that shattered my hopes of the present, dreams of the future and ultimately, my entire existence. The screen began to malfunction, so i slid my hand to the back of the monitor to check the cables between the monitor and computer. As my hand retreated, i realized, metaphorically speaking, that the little dutch boy assigned to keep his finger in the dike had abandoned his post and had left the rest of his village high and dry. Metaphors aside, there was nothing dry about the situation. The flood gates of my tears burst open as i realized the the most important thing in my life for the past two and a half years decided to sever all ties. The only thing worse than the separation itself was the sinister reason behind the action. The reason was money. Everything had been called off due to money, or more specifically, my lack of it. I began to run across campus as the thoughts of all the lessons learned and the late nights spent together flooded my mind. I went to the only place where i knew my problems could be solved all the while thinking of things i could say to remedy the situation. I felt some relief as i entered the ASB and headed to the records office. I was not about to let BYU be the one that got away. Now, i know that paying tuition on time is important, but there is so much more to this than money. They had launched the first attack by deleting my classes and now it was my turn to counterattack. Physically, i stood tall and composed, but deep within, i was crawling, begging and graveling. I explained that i did indeed have the money, and that i would cough it up if they agreed to just forget about about this little hiccup in our relationship. I envisioned myself, in my minds eye, as a cat, extending its claws deeper and deeper into the carpet as i resisted the opposing force. I left, a copy of my petition in hand, thinking of what more i could have said, but nothing came. The situation was out of my hands. From here on out, i could only await a response. I walked home, emotionally drained, reciting the old adage "Tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all."